Peace, More Powerful Than Fight!

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, about how I didn't like all this focus on FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT the canSer. It TOTALLY makes sense to me, don't get me wrong. When we are backed into a corner, the strongest do just that, they come out throwing punches. But when MY dust settled, and I had some time to think, that Rocky Balboa approach simply felt out of alignment with how I roll! I ALWAYS like to keep things VERY positive. I have not always succeeded, but every day I get better and better! I was able to take a good look at this concept when, totally out of the blue, my BFF Mindy brought up the EXACT same topic one night. Fight vs Peace: We talked for what seemed like HOURS about it, and other things I am sure. I came away knowing what I needed to do. It was time to change my focus. Since then, I have found people that share my "CRAZY" way of thinkin', and other people, some that are VERY CLOSE to me, that think I have given up! WHAAAAAT!???!! NO WAY!!! So here.... Let me explain!!

My journey had started out as a FIGHT for my life...but I really feel the canSer is hear to TEACH me something. I am here to learn and it's my job to stay in tune with my body and spirit
so that I can stay on the healing track. My body has been screaming out to me for a LONG time. It needed me to change SO desperately. The canSer is simply the LOUDEST way my body new to get my attention. I FIRMLY believe that if I embrace the lesson, change my habits and lifestyle, grow and move past the canSer, it [the canSer] will also move on in peace. No fighting necessary! :) The canSer is my teacher. When I fought with a teacher in school, I got sent to the Principal's Office. I have NO intention of finding out the grown up, canSer-is-your-teacher's version of what a Principal is. Best to just let the instructor instruct, and be the good student I know I am!!

Mother Theresa said (and I paraphrase here) "Someone once asked me

why I never attend Anti-War rallies. I said, invite me to a Pro-PEACE rally and I will BE THERE!" She beautifully and simply relates how easy it is to accoplish the SAME goal, but with a more POSITIVE and PEACEFUL outlook! If we focus on the negative, we will get more negative. If we focus on PEACE (the positive) we get more of what we ACTUALLY WANT!  I don't want to focus on FIGHTING the canSer. I need PEACE in my life now more than ever!! This in NO way means I have given up!! I am DILIGENTLY working on my diet and exercise, plus doing all that my Oncologist and other physicians tell me to do, but my focus is on GIVING my body what it NEEDS. Not FIGHTING what it doesn't need [the canSer]. MUUUUUCH better ENERGY!!! Give it what it needs and your body will take care of everything else, I say! Am I making sense??

I am SOOOO excited as I leave tomorrow for San Diego!!! It's Isa's 2011 Celebration, and I will be SURROUNDED with friends I haven't seen since January and others I have NEVER EVEN MET! I have grown SO close to them through Facebook, conference calls and phone conversations though! Oh how I wish you ALL could be there, but to those of you that will be there...please find me!! Message me on my FB page and I will send you my cell number, we can text and meet up!! :) PLEASE do NOT worry when you see me in a "go cart" (I am calling it that to make my self feel cooler) I am at stage 4 Breast canSer because it has spread to my bones, and there are many bones in my body that have fractured and healed (or healing), my hip and pelvis included. I have to be VERY careful how far I walk, it's SO HARD! I LOOVE to walk!! I am in no where NEAR the amount of pain I was in when I finished that 5k in Oct 2010, but now that I know there is a HUGE chance I could fracture my hip, I have to be careful. So, to those of you that saw me in January, don't worry!! Things are NOT worse, they are actually BETTER!! I know KNOW why I was in SOOO much pain in January [the canSer] and I am in treatment, ANNNND I have a "go cart" to keep me off my feet for the majority of the time so I will be safe from hurting myself!!! Sooooo!!! Here's to a FANTASTIC week!!! LET'S ROCK THE HOUSE DOWN!!! I can't WAIT to screeeeeeem my LUNGS out when Dana get's on that stage as the first 400lb club member!! I am already crying sitting here thinking about it!!!! The cool thing is.....I will be up there on stage with her while she's doing it!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! JUST AWESOME!!!!! xoxoxoxo